 |
| Illustration by Bill Worthington |
Today's Card: HIND-- "Eilid" in Gaelic. Subtlety, Gracefulness, Femininity.
The card shows an albino doe, or hind, in a small clearing in an oak forest, surrounded by ferns. The light appears to glow a lovely spring green that shines like a spotlight upon the delicate creature. She is posed facing away with her body, but her head is turned to look back at us (the viewer of the card.)
I step into the Greenwood. It is obviously early to mid spring, that time when the leaves first come out and are that pure and precious green. (Note: I love that color, and have painted my bedroom this color because of the positive feelings it invokes.)
The hind waits for me to join her. I do so, walking upon a carpet of moss that I am just noticing for the first time. The sunny spot she chose is a Green Ray, and when I step into it, a dreamlike euphoria enters my mind...
Then she and I begin walking forwards along the path, my hand upon the back of her neck-- but the Green Ray seems to follow us. Knowledge enters my being: I know that the quality of innocence and purity is prized by the "Other" spiritual-faerie-weird element in the Universe because only an innocent mind can take in this Otherness of the Green Ray without losing their sanity.
The hind, especially the special albino kind of doe, is the natural born manifestation of the Unicorn energy. Perhaps once there was a race of mutant deer that had a single horn. If so, they were hunted out of existence. Nonetheless, the race-memory of what they represented lives on...
Young women, especially, seem to have the mind to take in the wisdom of the wyrd without falling into ego-driven messianic fantasies or becoming unhinged and succumbing to addictions or dangerous compulsions like many other people of differing ages and the other sex often do. This is why oracles and certain types of mystics are chosen and tested as adolescents. I am reminded that I was once one of these women.
I realize I'm having a deep conversation with the hind, surrounded by this Green Ray light, and have decided to go with it, to take in the nourishing wisdom.
I was once Chosen in this way, its true. I was terrified and unbearably curious. The spiritual part of this lesson for life has changed me forever due to what began in childhood, but exploded into my existence only shortly after menarche. I have mixed feelings. I decide to confront this -- what EVER it is that is telling me this with the help of the Hind.
What was it all FOR? What was its purpose? I learned much but what could I DO with it? I feel very much alone. I tried leading a circle of spiritual people, and it was too much about power and status to keep others focused on learning. I write of my experiences now, but that is all I do. I feel like these "gifts" were wasted on me. I'm nearly useless as a conduit for the Green Ray. I feel I've mostly failed.
Maybe not, says this voice that is voiceless. Maybe not...
I turn and look this white Hind in her eyes. They are deep, dark blue. Not pink like a true albino. She has this gentle spirit that I find reassuring. She comforts me with her presence, and I find I must hug her to me for a time, because my heart is heavy with so much that doesn't belong to the current cultural world as the authorities define it. The hind encourages me to take my burden-- bags manifest upon my body-- and transfer it to her. She will take some of the baggage that is too much for me to handle. I do so and thank her.
She leads me back to the clearing, and the Green Ray fades away slowly. She will help me with my role, give me reassurance when times get rough that she is with me and nurturing my heavy spirit.
I feel grateful, and I bend down to grant her a kiss on her muzzle. I rest my forehead on hers for a few moments. Hind truly is a calming power that lightens one's being. I am glad to meet her formally.
Then I turn and step back into my own world.
No comments:
Post a Comment