Druid Animal Oracle: Fox

[Meditation journeys based upon Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm's oracle deck.]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: FOX-- "Sionnach" in Gaelic.  Cunning, Diplomacy, Wildness.

The card shows a fox, emerging from a forest to venture onto an iced over lake. Holly sticks out by one corner, an evergreen that shows its vitality in the heart of winter. Snow lies everywhere. In the distance, pines or firs grow on the distant shoreline, and a sunrise or sunset shines brightly, showing that a small mountain is even further in the distance. But something doesn't add up..! Behind the fox (behind its head and tip of its tail) the forest that the vixen just exited seems to blend into a snowy mountain much closer up! But how is that possible? Is it just a cap of snow covered tree tops? But that doesn't quite jive with how its drawn...

This card may be showing an overlapping of two realities! Which one is more physically 'real'? Which is our world, and which is another? And is the fox the only animal that demonstrates this ability? I guess it's time to find out!

I step through the portal and wonder about the ice! The Fox isn't even looking at me to begin with, but she soon does, and her expression is both playful and compassionate. I like her very much! I also remember the cranes I met with the bull, and how they directed me to the vixen to answer my question...

I asked for some sign of hope that I might find "IT" again. It being my passion for life, my ability to trust and love. My belief in myself as someone who can negotiate life successfully.

The Fox eyes me for a moment, then takes off over the ice-- looking back over her shoulder a few times. I hear crashing, and realize she's being chased, so I gingerly follow her onto the ice. I slide a little, then start to skate more gracefully. When I catch up to the vixen, she seems happy with me, and then leads me towards the rising sun.

I realize why when the big ogre chasing her comes out onto the ice to catch her, and me as well, apparently! The light of the rising sun blinds him a little, and so the fox and I criss cross in front of our enemy, confusing him more. Eventually, she leads me to an area where the ice is thin. I know we're going to trick our enemy...

... and it works. He's so angry at us puny tricksters that he blunders onto the thin ice and then falls through! We did it!

By now, we're to the opposite shore, and we climb up and look back to the hole in the ice, satisfied that we are safe and our pursuer will bother us no more.

Now the Fox speaks with me about my problems dealing with enemies. I try too hard, she tells me, to not lose. I'm not good at beating my enemies at their game. I need to create my own game, and have fun doing it-- once I get angry or desperate, I lose my advantage completely. She reminds me of when I was so successful at beating one infernal little bitch once. I never got caught up in the angst like I usually do, instead I got smart, and I turned things into a fun game. And I beat her easily.

I need to remember that, she tells me. I sit there on a pile of moss, looking out over the lake, and I stroke her thick fur. She tells me how foxes have had to learn to be wily to hunt and to get away when hunted. They are often in-between the powerful and puny, just like me. But they are also smart, just like me. I need to hold on to my humor and sense of play.

When we play, our minds are more keen and engaged-- at their prime. When, by contrast, I am upset and struggling, I can't think clearly. I lose my creativity, which is one of my strong points. Staying upbeat and laughing at life can be the difference between life and death when one deals with enemies.

I realize this is what I needed to hear. That all is not lost-- that I'm not doomed to repeat the same mistakes every time I am threatened. I CAN turn things around into my favor. People that are gunning for me also lose their advantage when they take things too seriously, if I let them blunder into losing-- just let them fall through their own hubris, I can walk away the victor!

I feel happy to know I can be okay. I think of my ex, and how he often sided with my enemies or even created them in the first place-- but in the end, all the quality people came to me and he was left with the losers in life. He played them and they all ended up with each other. No loss to me!

I jump up and go ice dancing. The sun shines down and the fox comes to join me, and we chase each other and skate around in glee. Eventually, we make our way to the originally spot by the holly tree where I came in. By now, the sun is high in the sky, and the world is very bright.

I kneel down to hug and kiss Fox. She wags her tail like a dog and licks me back. I will know to call on her for inspiration or advice in the future when I realize I need help in a 'game.'

I step through to my own world again, grateful for my vixen friend.

Druid Animal Oracle: Bee

[Meditation journeys based upon Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm's oracle deck.]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: BEE-- "Beach" in Gaelic. Community, Celebration, Organization.

The card shows a close-up of a bee sunning itself on a rock on a bright, sunny day- only a few high, hazy clouds in the sky. The line-counting figure for '5' is etched upon that rock. In the background, there is a path winding through upright stones, or dolmen, leading towards an ancient Celtic community hut, reminiscent of a beehive shape. The closest dolmen is also an ancient Celtic art figure as well.

I step through the doorway to find myself uncomfortably close to a stone dolmen, almost nose to stone! I move to the left and step back, and the bee crawls and wriggles her way around the upright stone. She turns to look at me, and I realize I hear drums in the distance. Its coming from the 'hive'-like community house. It sounds powerful and thunders into the day, and there is excitement in the air...

I'm feeling pretty eager to head towards the sound, and the bee seems to be on board with this. She flies to the next dolmen, which is also the Celtic figure from the Neolithic Age. I walk along the path to the figure, watching as the bee crawls over the face. I am reminded that even long ago, humans kept bees for honey, and to create alcoholic beverages out of it like mead. (Note: I love mead!) I notice while I stand there that other bees are busily flying around and landing upon the heather and gorse that seems to be everywhere in the surrounds. We seem to be in a region of low hills covered by such flora, like an area of moors.

I feel the collective energy of the bees, and I sense that the bee is telling me humans have our own form of 'hive'. We're very social animals, that is why I'm so excited to join the other people in their community house.

I continue down the path to the next dolmen and then the next and the next... I touch each as I pass it, feeling the rough stone beneath my hands. I realize the zigzag pattern of the path between the stones resembles the pattern bees make to communicate to each other in their bee 'dances.' I realize the Bee has brought my attention to this.

As I move up the path (we actually are going uphill slightly) I take all this in and enjoy the warm feeling of the sun upon me. The sound of drums gets ever louder and deeper, and soon I am at the entrance. I hear whoops and singing as well! At the doorway are two men, both dressed in bee outfits! They wave me in with smiles, and so I join the exuberant party.

Within, I see there is a festival going on, with honeycakes and mead. I'm IN!! I get my share and notice everyone is in a merry mood as I find a seat. Bee is still with me. She alights upon my hand (but I have no fear of being stung) and I offer her a bit of the honey dripping off my cake. She partakes with satisfaction. Around the hut-like enclosure, I notice bronze swords hanging off the walls. Bee thinks of them as human stingers.

I then commune with her silently, and I get that not only this party required a crowd, but an entire community was needed to build the large round building as well as the excavating and moving all those extremely heavy dolmen stones. There are some things that require a hive, or a village, to do. But more than that, bees and humans found a way to help each other. Bees who provide us honey have been transplanted and assisted to survive all over the globe. We have developed a symbiotic relationship to our mutual benefit.

I finish my mead and cake and think about all the comforts and the feeling of safety and belonging that can only occur in an organized community. Despite all the 'drama' and political headaches of dealing with groups of people, when things run well, life feels so much more right this way!

The people fade out slowly, like ghosts. Sadly, so does my mead mug! I look up at the high ceiling and call out, only to hear an echo of my own voice. It sounds lonely...  So I leave the way I came, with Bee flying beside me. As I make my way back to the doorway down the zigzag path, I realize that I totally missed that a bee hive was next to that first stone!

I take a little time to watch the many thousands of bees flying in and out of the hive. It is constructed to resemble the community house! Very adorable. I feel very comfortable with the bee energy here, and all that it means, but all the same I step through back into my own realm, bidding the Bee good-bye with an air-kiss.

Druid Animal Oracle: Hind

[Meditation journeys based upon Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm's oracle deck. I'm struggling to stay focused enough to do this every day, but I'm not giving up!]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: HIND-- "Eilid" in Gaelic. Subtlety, Gracefulness, Femininity.

The card shows an albino doe, or hind, in a small clearing in an oak forest, surrounded by ferns. The light appears to glow a lovely spring green that shines like a spotlight upon the delicate creature. She is posed facing away with her body, but her head is turned to look back at us (the viewer of the card.)

 I step into the Greenwood. It is obviously early to mid spring, that time when the leaves first come out and are that pure and precious green. (Note: I love that color, and have painted my bedroom this color because of the positive feelings it invokes.)

The hind waits for me to join her. I do so, walking upon a carpet of moss that I am just noticing for the first time. The sunny spot she chose is a Green Ray, and when I step into it, a dreamlike euphoria enters my mind...

Then she and I begin walking forwards along the path, my hand upon the back of her neck-- but the Green Ray seems to follow us. Knowledge enters my being: I know that the quality of innocence and purity is prized by the "Other" spiritual-faerie-weird element in the Universe because only an innocent mind can take in this Otherness of the Green Ray without losing their sanity.

The hind, especially the special albino kind of doe, is the natural born manifestation of the Unicorn energy. Perhaps once there was a race of mutant deer that had a single horn. If so, they were hunted out of existence. Nonetheless, the race-memory of what they represented lives on...

Young women, especially, seem to have the mind to take in the wisdom of the wyrd without falling into ego-driven messianic fantasies or becoming unhinged and succumbing to addictions or dangerous compulsions like many other people of differing ages and the other sex often do. This is why oracles and certain types of mystics are chosen and tested as adolescents. I am reminded that I was once one of these women.

I realize I'm having a deep conversation with the hind, surrounded by this Green Ray light, and have decided to go with it, to take in the nourishing wisdom.

I was once Chosen in this way, its true. I was terrified and unbearably curious. The spiritual part of this lesson for life has changed me forever due to what began in childhood, but exploded into my existence only shortly after menarche. I have mixed feelings. I decide to confront this -- what EVER it is that is telling me this with the help of the Hind.

What was it all FOR? What was its purpose? I learned much but what could I DO with it? I feel very much alone. I tried leading a circle of spiritual people, and it was too much about power and status to keep others focused on learning. I write of my experiences now, but that is all I do. I feel like these "gifts" were wasted on me. I'm nearly useless as a conduit for the Green Ray. I feel I've mostly failed.

Maybe not, says this voice that is voiceless. Maybe not...

I turn and look this white Hind in her eyes. They are deep, dark blue. Not pink like a true albino. She has this gentle spirit that I find reassuring. She comforts me with her presence, and I find I must hug her to me for a time, because my heart is heavy with so much that doesn't belong to the current cultural world as the authorities define it. The hind encourages me to take my burden-- bags manifest upon my body-- and transfer it to her. She will take some of the baggage that is too much for me to handle. I do so and thank her.

She leads me back to the clearing, and the Green Ray fades away slowly. She will help me with my role, give me reassurance when times get rough that she is with me and nurturing my heavy spirit.

 I feel grateful, and I bend down to grant her a kiss on her muzzle. I rest my forehead on hers for a few moments. Hind truly is a calming power that lightens one's being. I am glad to meet her formally.

Then I turn and step back into my own world.

Druid Animal Oracle: Adder

[Meditation journeys based on Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm's oracle deck. I have been absent from this work for a month, but I'm jumping in again. I got stuck on this snake card... need to face it!]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: ADDER-- "Nathair" in Gaelic.  Transformation, Healing, Life Energy

The card shows two intertwined snakes upon a stony lake shore that includes shells (but its not sandy, so 'lake'). Grass tufts are at the foot of the stone phallus in the background with a snake eating an egg carved upon it with ivy circling the structure. Below the adders is a boulder with a labyrinth carving and stones like eggs and shells that encompass the spiral or egg motif.

 I step through the doorway from my realm. Its warm, though the sun is filtered, and there is a light breeze. Warmth radiates out from the rocky shore below my feet. The Adders are nearly still, just their forked tongues flicking in and out.

I sit down in the warm rocks. They're smooth enough under my butt not to be too uncomfortable. I have an embarrassing confession to make to these spirit animals, "I've taken over a month to do this with you. It's silly, I know, but I didn't feel ready to deal with your energy, and I turned the card over and walked away rather than do the journey."

The black and white adder says, "Not ssso sssilly..." I am amused by the sibilant S in his verbal speech. Most animals communicate telepathically, but the Adder is talking in English!

The tan Adder reminds me of my powerful previous dreams with snakes in them (using mental touch like most totemic animals do). They are the kundalini energy resting at the base of our spine. They are like both lightning and spirals. They are very primitive and transformative. I've been through so much change lately that I balked at dealing with a spirit animal that embodies massive shifts in life. Loss, shedding of the old, striking out, slithering through the webs and weaves of life...

I smile, "Okay, not so silly. But I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you."

They don't care. I'm here now. And it's time to move!

The Adders slither and undulate between rocks and through the grass up to the phallic stone. I rub my hands up and down the rock, and then laugh at the gesture. The Adders watch approvingly, and then they take off across the flattish grass field, gliding as they slither along.

I soon realize I have to keep going at a brisk trot to keep up! They make waving patterns in the grass as we move that are rather mesmerizing to watch, and soon I'm in a sort of trance. We travel further and further from the lake (which I never turned to look at yet-- but I could smell the water...) and then we come to a hole in the ground.

I'm instructed to duck down and grab one snake with each hand, so I do. Next I am being slid down into the hole, through the dark, and we're going through some sort of complicated maze, and we end up in a white room full of giant quartz crystals--!!

Say what?!

I let go of the snakes, and they part and then sort of become upright on their tails! I notice energy like electricity buzzing through the crystals, moving around and making my hair stand on end. The Adders remind me of illustrations of Basilisks, moving so oddly now in this special lair.

I have one snake on each side of me and they lead me to a chair-- like a throne, and each one transforms into a sort of pillar and I realize we've just become the High Priestess tarot card! I can't help but laugh, but then the snakes change again into bare lines of electric energy and they begin to circle me, Sun-wise, faster and faster!

And as I watch the white energy turns blue, I'm thinking these oracle card journeys keep shocking the hell out of me! As I think this, I start to get little zips and jolts of electrical shocks. That, too, makes me laugh a little.

As the Adders whirl faster and faster, my body gets more and more energized, and it starts to feel pretty good. Soon I de-materialize into a white light, into a God light is how I would describe it. Then the Adders spin Widdershins (counter-clockwise) and turn into red lines of energy and pull me back into my material self. I am soon back in the chair, and they become upright snakes again.

I know they are basically going through the steps of death. You enter the dark unknown, but then emerge into the Spirit Realm. Next, I know I will undergo the steps of re-birth!

They come together and rise in front of me into the air, leaving their tails for me to grab. I grab them and they pull me UP into the ceiling of the crystalline chamber. The top seems like its made of liquid, and I am pulled through a suddenly cold and wet body of water!

I emerge onto the surface of the lake, and the snakes are now undulating horizontally again, across the top of the water, pulling me to the rocky shore. I step back up and shake off some water.

That was fun! 

I sit on the stones and let their warmth penetrate my chill. The sun warms me from above and I dry out. The snakes curl into my lap and I stroke their smooth scales over and over and very much enjoy the sensation. We converse about how death is "down" and life is "up" to them, when many cultures see it the other way around. I know there is nothing to fear from the Adders ever again.

With a kiss to the top of their heads for my good-bye, I step through into my own realm again, realizing it really is silly to be even a little afraid of these journeys.

END.

Druid Animal Oracle: BULL

[Meditation journeys based on Philip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm's oracle deck.]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: BULL-- "Tarbh" in Gaelic. Wealth, Potency, Beneficence

The card shows a white (but not albino) bull standing by a rock formation on a semi-sunny day. Three cranes fly not far off, and he seems to be bellowing at them. A horn and a rattle in the shape of a singular testicle lay at his hooves.

Right away I notice that this animal, unlike all the others, stands before me, his ass and balls more prominent than his face! Why is that? I wonder. His tail waves and whips, and I reach out to touch his rump, then smack it. It feels right for some reason...

He looks back at me, and I feel like he's protective-- and ornery! He stamps his feet a couple more times and then turns to face me. I notice the wind is blowing pretty hard here and the leaves from the willow growing next to us is rustling loudly.

Bull snorts, and then thunks the earth next to the golden horn at his feet. I pick it up. He nods, bobbing his head at an angle towards the sky. I'm to blow the horn.

Um... okay.

I blow it and Bull turns around again, as if readying for a fight. The three cranes who were circling now swoop down and alight upon the path before us. I come around the bull, and pat his shoulders. I know he's protecting me-- but from the Cranes?

The cranes let out some odd cries and bob and flap their wings. I'm told I get to ask each one a question. One about the past, one about the present, and one about the future. Then they walk, flap, and fly onto the path, in single file, and I know I must walk the path and ask each one a question.

Bull will walk with me. I get the sense that there is danger to this? I'm finding this journey to be a little strange. Are the Cranes linked to the three Fates?

I approach the first crane. It ducks and stretches like its doing a mating dance, and waits for my question. What do I want to know about the past? I don't know what to ask about and turn to the Bull. He suggests I ask about my 'brothers and comrades from the battlefield.' I know what he's talking about. Okay...

Did they truly love me then?

 The crane answers: They believed in you. Some loved you, but some just liked you.

Not sure how knowing that helps I thank the crane and move on down the path. The crane flies off.

Question about the present for the next crane is:  
Is there a reason to keep hoping-- objectively, outside of myself?

The crane answers: You know there is. You find it and lose it and find it again.

We continue on the path to the next crane while the last one flies off. I ask the Crane of the future:
Could you please show me something to give me hope or help me "find it" again?

The crane answers: Page 34 of the Oracle book.

I look and its the page for The Fox or "Sionnach". That card fell out separately on its own when I was putting cards away the first day I did this with the oracle cards. Apparently, Fox has something special for me to learn when I reach that card! Page 34 talks about when to "come out" openly and when to "keep your council private." Hmmm.... I'm not sure what that could be referring to, so I guess I have to wait until the future to do that card and find out...

I thank the crane and it flies off.

Then Bull tells me to mount him, and I do, and soon we're running across fields. I'm puzzled, but then I start to pick up from Bull that I understand stubbornness can be a virtue. That I am "bull-headed" and "grab the bull by the horns" on a regular basis (though I am not a Taurus sign.) Bull charges forth, even if its not pretty, or uses anger to get energy. Bull energy is a simple energy: Go do what you have to do, face the tricky parts of life, and don't give yourself time to doubt.

We come full circle to the rock formation. I slide off Bull and go look at the etching on the rock. Its a classic labyrinth - like the story of the bull-headed minotaur. Long story about short-changing the gods leading to a monster being born who ate men. Bull tells me that in the spirit world, bulls charge at and challenge men, but are the protectors and friends of women.

I tell Bull my own story of my father being a "bully" and how I had nightmares about being trapped in a pen with a bull when he was alive but ill, and my mother kept trying to make me visit him. Bull looks sad, he would never hurt me. I rub and scratch his face. All those dreams ended when I realized the real bully was my mother, wanting me to make peace with the monster of my childhood.

Finally, the bull paws at the last object on the ground-- the rattle. It has a ring attached. I think its kind of funny, but shake it. The ground rumbles. Bull tells me I can shake it to summon his energy. I thank him, replace the horn and rattle by the rock, and return to my realm.

END.

Druid Animal Oracle: OWL

[Meditative journeys upon Stephanie and Philip Carr-Gomm's Oracle Cards. I suspect that they softened up the real meaning of the Owl card because I already know its not so benign...]

Illustration by Bill Worthington

Today's Card: OWL-- "Cailleach Oidhche" in Gaelic:  Detachment, Wisdom, Change
                                                         (also:  Death, Crossing Points, the Hidden)


The card shows a barn owl in an oak tree covered with ivy. The tree is in an old oak forest in winter on a full moon night. Two tokens hang from branches: a stone pendent relief of a spiraled snake, and another silver pendent of a tragedy or death mask.

** Personal note: I believe that I have a life that touches on 'owl' themes relentlessly, though I seem to have a reluctance to dive into exploring this with Owl. My friend, Mike Clelland, writes books on many uncanny owl experiences that people have, and I have noted that I seem to avoid embracing this particular totemic image. Perhaps because I saw 'behind the veil' and felt betrayed? This may color my experience with Owl now, and I feel odd about confronting this.

I step through onto an enormous and wide branch of an ancient oak tree. I note that it is still fully leaved out, though a cold wind blows through an otherwise bare forest in the midst of winter. The full moon is so bright that I can see very clearly. Though I know of what sorts of themes surround Owl, I reach out to lightly pet her with a finger, she is cute and not frightening at all. The messenger of darker things, but not dark herself.

She shifts a couple of steps away from me and ducks her head in that bowing way owls do, but then steps closer and I lightly pet her chest. She closes her eyes in pleasure, and we just try to get comfortable together for a little bit.

Then Owl rotates her head to face the ivy to one side of her and grabs the spiral snake stone token in her beak. She then walks sideways up to me and drops it into my hand. I see it is a pendent and put it over my head. She reminds me (though I know this already) that snakes are totems of life and death and the shedding of the old. Owls sometimes bring news of such great changes by flying by with a snake in their talons where they can be seen by the one receiving the message. A classic "Omen."

I feel the spiral snake on my chest with my fingers, rubbing the shape of the smooth stone. It feels reassuring. The owl knows I am very well versed in this! I am familiar with life, death, reincarnation, ghosts, prophesy, and omens. I pursue it and don't deny it, but am reluctant to ask for help (from owl.) I acknowledge this is true.

Then owl flies to the next tree and has me follow. I am tall enough, and the forest dense enough, that I can simply climb from limb to limb of various trees. She leads me to the edge of the forest where we can see down into a town. I realize I have amazing night vision! I can see great detail even from very far away-- it makes me think of looking through binoculars, only easier.

And we watch. The human world gets quiet, but that's when other things wake up. We see spirits, and strange lights, and shadow figures, and we hear strange voices and singing and odd clicking and beeping noises as well. I understand that the Owl bears witness to all places where one world touches another. Not a Guardian of the Crossroads (like a Dog spirit might be) so much as a Mind Awake.

We make our way back to the Everliving Oak tree, and both the Owl and I know there are few surprises here for me. Now she reaches for the other token that hangs from the tree: a silver mask pendent. She lets me put it on my wrist, for its a bracelet. I rub the little face with my fingers. Its all about the pain of death and the fear of the unknown. My soul feels like the expression on this face...

The Owl bobs her face up and down, and reminds me that her face appears to be mask-like, as all owls do. I don't avoid Owl because of any of the things under her domain-- I don't like masks. I don't like to be fooled. I don't like things to be hidden from me. I have a raw hunger to unmask all things.

Then she does something that freaks me out. She reaches up with her fat feet and pulls off her face!! To my shock and amusement, there is clockwork there, like she's a sophisticated wind-up toy! She plops her 'mask face' back on and is calm, but seems to enjoy the joke. I realize that Owl bothers me because she doesn't seem very emotional, and this reminds me of the alien Greys, and this is another reason I am disturbed.

She says with calm compassion, "To bear Witness, one must be calm. One must allow events to proceed as they will without succumbing to the fear of those who must live through the event or encounter. I can help you to be calm through the fear. Just call on me. Think of me when experiences overwhelm you and remember I am of your natural world. I bear Witness to the Otherworld, but I am not of it. I'll get you back safely."

This moves me deeply. I understand now. I remove both tokens and return them to the Everliving Oak, feeling tearful and a little tired. I feel much closer to the Owl and decide to stop denying her in my life. I reach out both arms and she flies to my chest with a little hop and flutter of her wings, and she sits on my arms for a minute while I feel her feathers and rest my chin lightly on her head. I thank her and release her back to her branch and then return to my realm.

END.